Reply to 35 year old brother snaps at mom "I've hated you since I was 13"

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Reply to "35 year old brother snaps at mom "I've hated you since I was 13""

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"Is she perfect? Of course not, but we are never act this way towards her."

I find this statement telling.  So basically youre willing to overlook and normalize her bad behavior?  And you're angry at him for being unwilling to do so?[/quote]

Maybe OP and the other brother are the golden children and the “angry” brother is the scapegoat.

I’ve witnessed many times a parent who was a terrible parent to one group of kids when the kids have a large distance in age. They are either better or worse with group 1 and same with group 2, so the kids can basically have had completely different experiences with the same parent.

Hard to say, OP. You and your other brother may be perpetuating abuse or you may just have an angry-for-no-reason brother. Counseling will help. [/quote]

Maybe? Or maybe the "angry" brother is treated with kid gloves and increasingly senile mom forgot to walk on eggshells to avoid triggering him. (I have a brother like this, he has ADHD and depression, and my parents, in the interests of treating us equally, will never ever take my side or stand up for me no matter how egregious and over the top his behavior, because they are more worried about his feelings and think I will get over it or won't turn on them the way he will. This was a painful realization and I'm glad i have my husband so I don't have to feel as alone.)

We have no indication that's the dynamic for OP either. There is nowhere near enough info. But it's interesting how everyone projects the blame onto Mom and OP; my projection is that adults are responsible for their own behavior and for choosing to hurt others, even if they have struggles, and even if they feel hurt. [/quote]

The lack of details is why I’m skeptical of OP.[/quote]

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