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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If a 7 year old senses this much favoritism it's probably because she's sensing OP's frustration with her mother.  It didn't happen organically.  [/quote]

Simply not true. By that age it was easy to tell my grandparent preferred my brother. He was younger and the only male grandchild in the family. It baffles me as an adult how my parents just let it happen and didn’t say anything or acknowledge what was happening.

With my own children it is also blatantly obvious but my older child pulls no punches and outright calls her grandparents (my ILs) out when they get like this, bragging endlessly about one of her cousins while not acknowledging her in any way. I’d guess she was about 8 the first time she piped up when they were raving about how athletic her cousin is and told her it was fine she wasn’t because she was a girl. A girl who runs 5ks, does swim team, plays softball, etc. So just patently untrue statements from the grandparents.[/quote]

OP here… I secretly would love for DC to call them out on it. I truly wonder how they’d respond. [/quote]

Yikes.  I cannot believe you wrote that let alone secretly dream it.  This one statement proves that you are the problem...that you want a 7-year-old to initiate a fight with the grandparent?  You are completely unstable and should not be a parent.  Sheesh.[/quote]

I’m surprised everyone is latching onto this. I get it, OP. My mom is toxic and we’ve ended contact with her, but for a while she favored our son over our daughter. She’d buy something for DS then buy the same thing for DD to make it equal, even if it wasn’t something she wanted or something age appropriate. Then when DD would ask for something, they’d say no because they just bought her a gift (that she didn’t want). That’s just one example but for a 4&6 year old, it’s big.

I did address it with my mom when I was aware of it, but she’d gaslight me. After all the excuses of why I was wrong and she wasn’t playing favorites, she’d always circle back to “DD didn’t complain/seemed happy. It must be your problem, not hers.” As though I was making it up. I wished DD would say when she felt something wasn’t fair and call it out in the moment, but that’s a lot to ask of a little kid, and it’s my job. But I did wish it so my parents would know I wasn’t creating the problem.

Honestly, with people like that, it doesn’t really matter who says what. If the kid does say it, who knows how they’ll respond. Will they lash out at the kid? Blame the parent for putting ideas in the kid’s head? Build up resentment over time and behave worse than before? Pretty much the only thing you can be sure of is that she won’t change. [/quote]

OP here. Thank you for explaining this better than I’ve managed to. [/quote]

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