Reply to Is my kid entitled? How to tell? (article uses a DC kid as an example of entitled:))

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Am I the only one that thinks the article sounds patronizing? The crutch of the article is if you have money, don't spend it on your children because they will be spoiled brats. I grew up in an upper-middle class family and we had more than most people. That being said, I have held a job everyday since I was 15 even had 3 jobs in college. I am self sufficient and don't rely on my parents or others for support. Yet, my BIL and SIL who grew up in poverty rely heavily on their parents to support them and have never been self-sufficient.

This argument is not about money, its about values. Welfare generations in the US and Europe are a good example of people who are basically destitute, but are entitled to their benefits.

In other words I completely disagree that this is about money or material wealth. I think this is about culture and work ethic.

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I thoroughly agree. My DH grew up poor. His father was frequently out of work and in poor health requiring expensive medical procedures. They sometimes made it on handouts from their church. He never had anything that he wanted. As an adult he believes he is owed things. If he comes to an intersection and wants to make a turn he gets angry if someone doesn't stop to let him go and he actually has to wait for a green light ( he actually yells, "Come on! You HAVE to let me turn!). He believes he should get a high-paying job because he wants one even though he studied for a career in a low-paying field and he deserves a raise even though he puts in the bare minimum. In his 20s he had to take a class on check writing for bouncing too many checks. He thinks because he wants something he should have it even if he doesn't have the money to buy it. Early on with our 1st DD he frequently bought her outlandishly expensive gifts we couldn't always afford. e.g., for her 1st Christmas he bought her a $100 soccer ball as a stocking stuffer, because he always wanted one and his parents never got him one.

I grew up with a very different background. My parents were upper middle-class professionals, and we had money. But they were immigrants who made their fortune from nothing. We always had to work hard in school and in jobs from a young age. We were given the basics in food and clothing and we gave the rest to the less fortunate. We were always taught that there were others worse off than us, and we were very lucky to have what we did. My sisters and I grew up to be hard-working people. We are all grateful for everything we have. I don't think we are entitled, because we never expect that the world owes us anything. Based on finances alone you would think I would be the entitled one, but my DH very clearly is.

I had[/quote]

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