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[quote=Anonymous]	I “get” what you mean, op. 
I don’t believe that you can make a house a home, if you could, real estate wouldn’t be a  section on this board. It wouldn’t be something anybody fought over, why would you when you could just buy more/different s*** at Target or wherever.

Anybody who disagrees either lives where they want, or knows they can move without a friend or family member tsk-tsking about how you “just bought it” “need to give it some time” “be grateful for what you have” “buy more/different s*** to decorate” or “make some memories”.  In each house I’ve lived in, I’ve made memories, only a couple of those houses including my current one feel like home. I had 2 children in 2 of our previous houses, neither of those houses felt like home, though of course I am glad I have my kids. It’s simply that the houses in question never and didn’t feel like home. 
My advice is that you think about what you do want.  I am assuming that you aren’t someone who thinks “my only home is the one I grew up in”.. it’s fine to want the features you had growing up, it’s not fine to view nothing else as ever being nice/good/appropriate.

Don’t discount natural light, seasonal affective disorder is very real. Don’t discount how you feel in a given space. My parents bought a house with very poor lighting. They literally took out a wall and put windows in to increase the light. It never quite worked for reasons I don’t understand.  I do remember there were times when I felt like I was swimming through glue, and if it helps anybody, I am totally blind. Logically, natural light shouldn’t matter to me. I can’t tell if the sun is shining unless I feel it, as in feel the warmth.  I can’t tell if the light is on in a given room. I’ve vacuumed, changed diapers, cooked, only to have my husband or one of my kids walk in, and then me hear the flick of the light switch turning on.  
I don’t care about indoor lighting, but I do seem impacted by natural light, my preschooler told me once “You are like a plant Mommy, you need the sun just like they do”  Those who say “just put in more lamps” if that’s what works for you, fine. You can buy all the lamps you want. If it doesn’t, and OP knows herself, then she’s just wasting money on lamps. My parents also spent a lot of money on what they thought would be better light bulbs. That didn’t work either.

Finally, don’t compromise on a house.. ever.  Men can pretty much live anywhere, and if they don’t like their house, they either sell it, or they “live” at work, the gym, a bar, or wherever they do a hobby.  Men tend to not be home as much as women especially if kids are involved. For example I’m already planning to be home with a kid after her second covid vaccine the middle of next week. My husband isn’t. He’s going to work. This is fine with me, my point is that I’ll have a yucky feeling kid on my hands who is too young to be left alone and who won’t want to go anyplace should I decide “I hate this house, I need to get out for a bit”. Men tend to not have to think about these issues.

I’ve never heard a man say “I sure do miss that house” they may say “If we’d stayed, we’d be a lot richer then we are now” or “Compared to what we bought, that house I thought we couldn’t afford would have been the better option” but never “I miss”. 
Do a deep dive into what you do want. If you have kids, plan for long term, you want a place that you will enjoy when they are high schoolers.  Don’t even look at a 2 bedroom house if you want a 4 bedroom house. If you want a house with an old fashioned attic, realize that you’ll probably need to look at and like much older homes.  Likewise, don’t expect an older home to have a dry basement, dry basements are relatively new as in the past 80 years or so.. and even that isn’t a guarantee. 
Talk to people you meet in and around the surrounding area. People who like where they live will be happy to tell you about where you can get a coffee, or about a nice park or about things they like. I have literally sat in the car arms crossed refusing to look at a house when a neighbor wouldn’t speak to me. It torked off my husband and our agent, though my husband realized later I was right. My logic is that while nobody owes me a conversation, my money is mine to spend where I like, and I don’t like people who for whatever reason don’t care enough about where they live to try and engage.  Don’t ask about a  specific house, be real careful asking where their kids go to school, you don’t want to seem creepy,  but you can always say “we’re planning on a baby, what do you think of the schools”. but do ask about the neighborhood, “Hey, I’m hungry, where might I get a nice taco” “my kids play soccer, is there anything like that around here?” that sort of thing. The point is to get a feel for how you will like a neighborhood and how or if you will relate to your neighbors. Listen for what they say but also how they say it. As you’re finding out, it’s very difficult to roll things back once you buy.  Some of the posts on this thread have already made you feel bad about selling property that you are legally allowed to sell. Think about that for a minute. Why would anybody on this board care what you do with your property.

Good luck, op. Do make sure that you are mentally healthy.  You’ll never get your grandma’s house on a summer day no matter how much you miss Grandma.  All houses need to be maintained, we are replacing a door on ours and we had to replace the furnace this spring, yes this spring. We also got a whole house humidifier and hooked it up to  240 circuit so it would produce more steam.  Do be clear in what you want, open kitchen, stick to it. Lots of light, stick to it. Quiet street, stick with it. A backyard so you can garden or read, stick with it. Some things are plug and play, though a surprising amount isn’t.

As  a final thought I do wish women would learn not to compromise on houses with their husbands, and I love my husband dearly.  Real estate agents know they‘re selling to women more then men.  If I ran the world, I’d teach girls how to shop for housing that they will want to live in once they have children.. not babies, children. It’s something we don’t talk much about in our society. 
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