Reply to Was this odd? Taking all the leftovers of what you brought home?

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Reply to "Was this odd? Taking all the leftovers of what you brought home?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Huh, I have probably done something similar dozens of times, and the same with my friends. I guess I’m in the wrong, but it seems weird to me to bring something and leave it there, unless it’s like a hostess gift. Now I know better! Take pity on your friends who don’t know any better, I don’t remember going to any dinner parties with my parents, just informal backyard BBQs and we definitely brought back whatever was left in the casserole dish. [/quote]

Same.  I didn't know it was rude, so I'm learning.  Typically the events/meals we go to are more of a potluck, with the hostess providing a main dish and others bringing sides/beverages (BYOB), so maybe that's different than being invited over for a dinner?  Everyone takes home the leftovers of their dish and their beverages.

At the end of our big family meals like Thanksgiving, everyone makes to go containers of various foods.[/quote]

^This is the distinction--if it's a potluck, you can assume the leftovers are for everyone and you can take your item back with you if it wasn't eaten. The OP indicated that it was a planned meal and the guest offered to bring dessert. In that case, the dessert would have typically been a gift to the host.[/quote]

PP, honestly, thank you so much for this framing. It really helps to understand.

I wasn't raised with dinner parties. It was always people coming to our place for a holiday meal (and I didn't notice growing up who took what at the end), or it was university group potlucks, or the potlucks where I am now (a lot of people living in a remote area together that do block party sort of potlucks).

I very rarely go to dinners now. I was invited over Thanksgiving to a co-worker's place, along with two others, and I brought a lot --the main dish, an appetizer, a desert, and a homemade bread. I helped pack things up for the fridge after, and because of this thread I just offered to take anything she didn't have room for (tiny apartment) but ended up leaving it all.

Honestly, I'd rather leave it! I don't want to work my way through yet more leftovers. But now that I can see it is a gift (not a potluck), it helps me so much. I'm much easier with it. I know now I was already supposed to know this, but it would have felt like a burden to leave things otherwise.

Thank you, PP! And thank you, DCUM! I will remember and be entirely proper about it from here on out. [/quote]

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