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[quote=Anonymous]I got along with the mothers of almost all of my boyfriends, including my now husbands mom. However once we got married her attitude towards me changed. All of a sudden I was responsible for sending thank you notes for the wedding gifts, Christmas cards, any type of birthday card or anniversary. Keep in mind my husband did some of these before we got married and she never seems to fuss at him for the ones he missed. She started keeping score of how often we would spend with my family and start micromanaging all revisits and how we split up time for the holidays and other things. There was always a reason why we needed to do the holiday at at their house after we got married. Things like a long-lost cousin was visiting. Grandma's had a cold and she might not make it. They might be gone next year on a cruise so we have to come this year.. it never ended.   . My husband finally told her we weren't doing this anymore and we were switching to every other she called me and yelled at me for about a half an hour listing about 50 things that I had done to slide her in the past. We're talkin about things like I didn't say hi to her first when we arrived at a family reunion, she didn't get as many wedding pictures with my husband as she would have liked. I mean it was bizarre.

I let her hash it out and said I'm sorry she feels that way but her recollection of facts  seems to be a bit off and if she had any issues she could talk to my husband about them.

I actually quite like my father-in-law. He's quiet but super funny in a very dry sort of way. He doesn't fuss about much is laid-back easygoing Emily visit he seems genuinely happy to see us. She is the type that you have to be together 24/7 if you visit. Any attempt to break away is met with hostility and judgment. I do it anyway but this only deepens her disdain for me I am sure. She is just so suffocating to be around.

Now we visit occasionally and still do the every other holiday but if we miss one I'm not losing any sleep over it.

Could I do different things and change who I am to foster a better relationship with her.? I'm sure I could coerce my husband into US visiting more often than we do. I could not leave her side when we do visit and listen to the same story 5,000 times. I could let her chastise me for how I dress and how we are raising our children and just sit there and smile. But that's not who my husband married. He didn't marry someone who would sit by and pretend to be someone that they're not. It doesn't mean that I'm rude it just means I'm not going to change who I am just to have a better relationship with a woman who doesn't seem to like anything about me. Luckily I'm not married to her.

I'm not the daughter-in-law that she chose and she is stuck with me just as much as I am stuck with her. I don't bring a laundry list of everything I hate about her and try to get her to change every time I see her. She is who she is and she will say what she's going to say but I'm not going to go out of my way to become her best friend[/quote]

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