Reply to Why do so many of us have issues with our ILs?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think it’s because — especially with MILs — when you’re child gets married you are moving into a new phase of life. You are no longer the center of a family. You could be someone’s grandmother. At least it was this in my case. My MIL retired, became a mother in law and a grandmother, felt her mortality and her importance slipping away and tried to claw it back by staging constant power trips and head to heads with me over things like: whether I was “allowed” to bring food to Thanksgiving and who my husband should spend his birthday with. Every single potential decision was a showdown. From what to eat at dinner to what MY HUSBAND AND I should name our child! If she “won” she reassured herself that she was still the mother, the center, and I was 26, resentful and angry and would push back. Twenty years later, I have embraced the gray rock and we get along fine now. But then again, we only see her 3/4 times a year when we used to live down the street. [/quote]

I am so happy to be free of most decisions.  I let my married kids, with little kids, make the plans.  They always ask my input, but I always insist we do what works best for the group.  I don’t care.  I’m happy to be invited and I love my children’s spouses and my grandchildren.  I get to do what I want all the time.  I’m flexible when we do family dinners, trips, etc.  It’s a relief not to stress over plans.  Just let me know what time to be where.[/quote]

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