Reply to In the spirit of the holidays.... "Crazy Shit my Mom Says" revival

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mom would often loudly fart (either pretend nothing happened or ask with disdain “who did that?”)

Declaring loudly at uncle’s funeral (brother she did not like) “will you look at that expensive coffin. What a waste of good wood”

“Are you going out in that? That outfit makes you look fat” and “sex traffickers in Middle East and Africa love fat girls.”

Also regularly admonish us to “eat everything on your plate because the starving children in Africa would eat it if they could.”

On referring to people in the third person when they are in the room: “She is the cat’s mother” but when expressing her own displeasure “We are not amused”

“If you argue with me again, you’ll get the wrong end of the feather duster” (and I regularly did).

“Don't make me get the wooden spoon.”

“Put your shoes and coat on or you’ll get a chill in your kidneys.”

Whenever we lost keys, purse or whatever: “ Will you just Pray to Saint Anthony and stop bothering me” (St Anthony is the Patron Saint of lost causes)

“You’ll be the f@ckun death of me”

“Shut the f@ckun door. You weren’t born in  tent.”

So many more. [/quote]

You shouldve prayed to St Jude (patron saint of lost causes)! Maybe things would’ve been better. St Anthony is the patron of lost items.[/quote]

Ha ha ha mixing up my saintly causes …

I converted from Catholicism as soon as I could - we had to pray to St Anthony for all the lost items …. 😀[/quote]

My mom loves St Anthony, St Francis, and buries St Joseph to help people sell houses.

Also, she always has a little vial of holy water and would sprinkle it over our car before every road trip. And over my car every time I drove back to college.

When she's started, she exclaims "JESUS, Mary and Joseph!" Or "Jumpin Jehoshaphat!" My son thinks it's hilarious.

Oddly, I actually do find all that stuff kind of endearing and quaint. Because of it, I used to love tacky kitschy religious things like a velvet Last Supper or a weird light-up Jesus painting. Whenever she saw those things in my home, she'd declare them sacrilegious. She did laugh at a painting I had that showed Jesus drinking a beer and saying "let there be light beer." [/quote]

:D  :D  :D 
Ha ha ha - that all sounds so familiar …I still keep holy water in our home and also buried St Joseph last time we sold our house ( it did go exceptionally well, thank you St Joseph).

Kitschy art was part of our Catholic childhood …. It is endearing and helps me feel connected to a great cosmic giggle around how foolish we are … I love art and like to have some that is not too serious … DH would absolutely love the let there be light beer painting … the weird velvet light up painting of the Last Supper sounds like something a sketch out of Monty Python  … if it had sound, I could imagine it playing Auld Lang Syne with bagpipes.😂

"Jumpin Jehoshaphat!" Have mercy…. [/quote]

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