Reply to Anyone find it hard to give up the DINK lifestyle to have kids?

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Reply to "Anyone find it hard to give up the DINK lifestyle to have kids?"

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[quote=Anonymous]Like many PPs, I would say that for me the experience of having children -- mine are now teens and young adults, ages 13-23 -- has been rich, joyful, and rewarding -- though also stressful and demanding.  Becoming a parent changed my life and my marriage completely and many times over as our children got older and our family dynamic evolved.  Ultimately, I feel like it has made me a better person -- more giving, open and aware -- and strengthened our marriage.  When we were DINKs (both lawyers working crazy hours) I loved DH madly; today, I still love him madly, but my love has a component of respect and gratitude for his being such a menschy dad to the people I love most in this world -- even when they were being complete, though developmentally appropriate, jerks, and even when I wanted to send them to the moon (yeah, Newt, you've got competition for moon-mayor).

Having said this, OP, you sound so ambivalent that I would really hesitate to tell you to go for it.  I've seen people who  had kids because they thought it was just another ticket to punch along life's path or b/c one spouse wanted to have them -- and it's not pretty.  Even when your kids are well beyond the intense caregiving stage of infancy, babyhood, the toddler and preschool years, your life will not return to DINK-hood or anything remotely resembling that until you're empty-nesters.  Now those are the folks who are livin' la vida loca!             [/quote]

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