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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No. They've always eaten what we make/give them. Never had any food issues. I don't expect them to sample one of everything over holidays. They eat, and stop once they're full. [/quote]

My question is whether you're choosing what they eat at the holidays, or you're making an exception and allowing them to choose.

I'm asking because I have a family member who believes this -- that kids should eat what's put in front of them, which I understand in her home, but she's not an adventurous cook, so he kids are used to food being familiar.   As we plan Christmas dinner, she keeps objecting to foods because she thinks her kids won't like it and she feels like it's mean to expect them to have to eat food they don't like at Christmas.

I'm trying to find a middle ground between unhappy kids, and the rest of us not having to eat foods that are "little kid friendly".[/quote]

So she solves the problem of kids eating what is served by only serving what they will
Eat?

She’s not actually holding the rule she thinks she is. [/quote]

OP here,

I think there are two things behind her thinking.  One is that she is concerned that her kids eat the "right" nutrition in the "right" proportions.  So plating their food and making them eat it ensures that she knows that they ate a vegetable, or a protein, or whatever is important to her.

The other is, I think, that she has the idea that if her kids know that eating what's in front of them isn't negotiable, then she can gradually increase what they eat by adding foods.

But she's got a lot on her plate, and she gets to the end of the day, and she's tired so she makes something that meets her nutritional criteria that's easy and fast and she knows they'll eat.  She's making healthy meals, just not a great variety.

How well is it working?  Well, that's hard to say.

I think she feels that her kids are naturally very picky, and that the fact that they eat a greater variety of healthy foods than most "picky eaters" is a win.

I think it's also possible that if exposed to more foods, or allowed more choice, they'd eat even more variety.  I feed my kids differently, and my kids eat a greater variety of foods than hers do.  But that could be because I happen to have unpicky kids.  I'm certainly not going to tell her that I think that if she fed her kids like mine they'd eat like mine, because I have no idea if that's true.

I think one dynamic is that she is pretty competitive and it bothers her that my kids eat "better"* than hers.  Like, it's embarrassing to her when her kids are fussing about how they don't want something, and my kids are happily eating the same thing.  So, she'd like to avoid that situation.  My solution to that problem would be to tell the kids that they can say no thank you, but they need to do it politely without fussing.  Her solution would be to not serve foods that her kids won't eat, so my kids won't be able to "show off".

*note:  I'm using words like better and picky eater and little kid friendly food because that's what she uses, and I'm trying to explain her thinking.  I wouldn't use those words to describe my own kids' eating.  [/quote]

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