Reply to How do you let go of old friends that you just don't feel comfortable being around anymore?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is it ever appropriate to ask friends who start ghosting you for no obvious reason or who start avoiding you what is causing them to act like this?

I don't mean friends just growing apart, but people who start ghosting you or who stop replying to your texts and voicemail if you haven't done anything to upset them.
Would you ask them face to face?[/quote]

I think it can be appropriate to ask, but it's not always appropriate to answer honestly.

My friend married a verbally abusive asshole. We can't be as close as she wants us to( she wants our kids to be as close as we are) because that would mean hanging out with her entire family often. I will not expose my children to a man who demeans his wife in their presence. I can only hang out with her one on one. So that friendship is now different. It's not her fault, but what can I do? She knows how I feel about her husband's treatment of her. However I will not tell her that I turn down her invitation to hang out as a family because I don't want my kids in the same room with her husband.  I do reply to her texts but it's usually a polite "no, we are doing this or that".[/quote]

That's such a shame, especially if you think she's a good person. I think your friend probably feels isolated. Do you have to hang out at their house? Can you, your friend and the kids not meet elsewhere? In a park or at the mall?

My husband and I are in a situation where people are friendly to us but nothing more. We hardly get invited to anything. We're always friendly, polite and helpful to others so I don't understand what is going on. I don't have a single close friend. Neither does my husband. We have no one to call in a crisis. How sad is that.[/quote]

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