Reply to Realized my SIL in "grey rocking" me

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]One of the other people is BIL and yes agree my husband sucks for leaving mento deal with this alone. we've gone rounds about it multiple times. God forbid he upsets sister by calling her out. He has before and she stonewalled him. [/quote]

“Called out” FOR WHAT? She doesn’t like you—not required to. She’s not interested in you—not required to be. She answers your questions. She’s giving you cues to leave her alone. LEAVE HER ALONE. Pretty freaking simple.

Talk to the others, bring a book or some knitting or a magazine or something. Get a hobby that isn’t being a slobbery Labrador chasing after a cat.[/quote]

Poor SIL!

She is not obligated to entertain you, OP.[/quote]
I haven't read the whole thread, but based on the original post you two are wrong as is her SIL. Being polite and cordial is being a normal human being. Being cold and passive aggressive towards your family member is a bullying behavior meant to displace the person and feel that person unwelcome and in a hostile environment. Nobody is saying that SIL has to be gaga over OP, but being polite and not being a bully.[/quote]

She does not ignore OP, she answers her questions. That is being cordial and civil. That is being polite.

For all we know, OP has either gossiped to her or about her in the past, and therefore SIL doesn’t want to reveal much to OP. For all we know, OP talks and talks and talks and sucks the air out of the room, and SIL is just trying to put up social cues that she needs a break from the chatter and the rapid-fire questions. Because all we are getting here is OP’s side of the story. And so far the story is, “My SIL doesn’t seem that interested in talking with me—how can I force her to? I tried tattling to my brother, but that backfired.”

Trying to force a relationship is also impolite and disrespectful. Respect boundaries, even if you don’t understand or agree with them. Move on.[/quote]

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