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[quote=Anonymous]Stepping back -

They are in middle school.  Say it to yourself.  Kids in middle school are all over the place in terms of puberty, relationships, physical growth and maturity, and then add in, their own family and personal commitments (music, sports, art etc).

What adults must do is provide some actual guidance for their kids.  The key overriding factor is to not let your kid be a jerk to anyone else.  They want to be a jerk.  But, yes, they do understand that being responsible and even nice (if not actually friendly) is not that difficult.  Yes - at 12-14 the kids maturing earlier do not have that much in common with the kids who are going to be maturing later.  Yes - less mature kids need to suck it up and be nice too when with the more mature kids.   What they are doing may not be overalls fun, but it will be fine.

When the kids hit high school everything flexes again, because high school has its own set of unwritten rules and commitments.  But, if your kid survived middle school being reasonably nice to everyone then they head into their high school years with a much much greater chance of connecting and reconnecting with people.

So - no 13 year olds who are into make up and talking about boys and bands are not going to think they have anything in common on a day to day basis with a kid who is playing sports, or a kid who is into art, or a kid who is a year away from diving into those subjects.  But - they all can have fun on a hay ride and a spooky haunted house trip.  And when they all are 16 and remixed up again in high school activities they can still be friends.

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