Reply to Broke off an affair. Going through depression

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here
I dont expect sympathy. I am pos and a coward. 
The woman is a friend's wife, not a good friend, more like an acquaintance. We just got a long. It started with texting and then a kiss. We were both hesistant since we didn't want this to spiral out of control. But 3 months into it, I couldnt go a day without texting or calling her.
We never had sex mainly because we couldn't find the time since we both work from home.

Her husband found an intimate message after she left her phone in the kitchen. and the next thing I received was a call from him. She texted me after saying she can't continue this and blocked me. It's been a week and I still feel like shit. 
My wife of course hates me, can't believe id do that and have a crush on someone. The sad part is that i'm more annoyed at myself for getting caught knowing it was a bad time to text and I go through the scenario in my head over and over again. [/quote]

The thing I will never understand is how anyone in this situation does not know how to handle their texts and phone. Obviously you silence the alerts and lock your phone, clean up any back ups, and just control your sh*t. Otherwise be in an open situation. It is so simple that I have to think you are basically subconsciously wanting to get caught and create a stir if you don’t do this.

OP yes you f’d up, on multiple levels. You should have decided what you wanted and gotten in accordingly. You wanted to have your cake and eat it too, it doesn’t work that way. Now your wife is never going to trust you again and this other relationship is going down the drain. You need to get clear on what you want here.[/quote]

I thought this too when I had an affair while getting out of a domestic violence situation. Was very careful. The AP was much less careful and I could not comprehend why. He was caught and I could only conclude that he wanted his wife to know so that there would be honesty. She said stop and he refused to stop. Later I realized that by not lying he was leaving the door open to return to their marriage. I am now divorced.[/quote]

Ugh I know… but what marriage is there to go back to after the trust has been broken? Maybe this was like his way of rubbing his wife’s face in the fact that he thought their marriage was over?[/quote]

PP here and he is just extremely loveable and I think she was able to forgive him. They are both pretty psychologically minded and I’m sure went through a lot to work it out enough to repair the marriage sufficiently. They are both devoted parents and a great parenting team and very much still together for their kids.[/quote]

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