Reply to Husband Doesn’t Understand The Struggles

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]First, I would decide whether you want to work or not. I would never have quit work so my conversation would have been:

“I absolutely cannot work and take care of a kid at the same time. So, are you quitting work or are we hiring a nanny?” And then I would listen.

If he keeps saying, the baby sleeps all the time, I would reiterate “I cannot work and take care of a baby. What do you prefer — a nanny or you quit work?”

If he kept saying it would be fine, I would say “you have a couple of days to think this through. Let’s discuss again on Sunday.”

On Sunday, if he didn’t come around, I would say “listen, you are asking me to do something that is unacceptable to me. Your intransigence on this subject is going to jeopardize our marital happiness. I love you and want to stay married. I need you to hear me and come up with a new plan.”

And finally, I would say “it sounds like you are not quitting your job. I am going to start interviewing nannies next week.” And then I would do that.[/quote]

This is an excellent script for you OP.

I'd also urge you to stop taking criticism of your husband's actions as other posters labeling him as a "bad guy." That's not the issue here. The issue is that he's putting you in an impossible position. He needs to understand that.

And the whole good baby/good sleeper thing is great, but you have a 3.5 month old, non-mobile baby. It changes fast. I was a stay at home mom that left my 6 month old non-mobile baby on her play mat while I answered the door. Well, she chose that moment to learn how to roll over and over and got herself stuck halfway under a chair. [/quote]

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