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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Please, no snark.

I'm really heartbroken over what's happened to my high functioning ASD child during the pandemic.

Before the pandemic, my child was in a top STEM PhD program, headed for far greater success than I'd ever imagined for him.

But when the pandemic hit, and his university shut down, he dropped out with an MA that they basically handed him on the way out.

Now, DC is living at home, supposedly looking for a job.

DC sends out resumes with no cover letter. Has interviews because of prestigious MA, but doesn't get called back (likely because of poor social skills.

DH and I offer gentle suggestions to DC, but he refuses all help. He won't listen to anything we suggest, no matter how small. Won't exercise, won't see a therapist to help with (I suspect) depression and ASD behavior, won't even take vitamins.

He does walk the dog, washes the dishes, and is mostly a quiet house guest.

If you are not a parent of an adult ASD kid, please do not comment. You cannot possibly understand this situation and how heartbreaking it is.

If you've been through this type of thing with your HFASD adult child, what did you do? Stand back and do nothing while they dig themselves deeper into a pit they don't have the ability to either understand or climb out of? Keep trying to help, gently? What am I not doing?

Don't say kick him out, because I won't. DH wants to give him a few more months and then tell him he has to start paying rent. I don't know if that will help.

He sits in his room and watches videos, texts his friends (he actually has a few friends, which is a huge accomplishment for an ASD person), and sends out the occasional resume.

Looking for empathy and suggestions from parents of HFASD adult children who have BTDT. TIA. :(
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Op, be flexible in your thinking and come to terms that he’s a grown person.

Stop trying to fit him into a box and stop suggesting to him that the only way is the disabled way. He does not need ASD help. He’s probably gotten that all his life, and he’s come to understand that it’s not for him.

If you dig deep he’ll probably tell you that your attitude gives him insecurities and self doubt. He seems to want to prove you wrong. Give him unconditional love and space. [/quote]

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