Reply to Help me make peace with being a SAHM

Forum Index » Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers

Reply to "Help me make peace with being a SAHM"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]Wow, some replies here. "You're a cautionary tale", she's poor because she has only one car, bashing OP's life choices/family/etc... That's the best some of y'all can contribute? Unless one of you has a time machine, she is where she is and her road starts here, and its so much more productive to look forward than back.

OP, you don't have to state your income. You don't have to justify your life. Some people like to do what they perceive as punching down to elevate their own choices, but this is sad and transparent because happy people don't go on online forums and try to tear down strangers seeking help.

Fellow one-car-owning mom here. Let 'em cry into their caviar while us "poors" have some real talk. Depression is an insidious thing which creeps in and spirals. It didn't set in overnight, and you won't get out of it overnight either. But you are valid and valuable. If your kids are well fed, safe, and healthy, you're already ahead of a lot of people. You're taking the right first steps by seeking and perhaps following through on some ideas to improve your situation. That's also great. For your mood: try doing one small new thing every day. Or most days. New kind of tea. New walking path. New TV show. New scented candle. New kind of music to just have playing in the background while you do stuff. New thought pattern. Look into Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, just google it, there are things you can do yourself without a therapist to break the cycle of anxious/depressive thoughts. New message board (try the reddit parenting community; much kinder). The point is novelty and activating your body's "enjoyment" chemistry after it's spent so long stewing in stress and sadness. Exercise is also huge for this, and again a ton of online classes you can do at home for free.

For your situation: some good ideas here already, eg have your sitter come more often. To feel less like a mom robot, take the subject you're studying or the field you want to go into and google it + "society DC area". Many are doing online events, mentoring programs, etc. Great for networking for your future jobs too. I'm hesitant to comment on your marriage dynamic or how you share finances because I'm sensing an ingrainment there that won't change overnight, except to suggest that you just mull over the idea that having full access to your family's finances regardless of who's the breadwinner is a common and widespread way of doing things, eg if something would really hugely improve your well-being, he doesn't get to say hard no, you both sit down and see what you can accomplish within your means. It's extremely disempowering to have you on an "allowance" that used to go to daycare. It's not how it works for I would say the majority of couples around here, and it doesn't have to be that way for you either. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics