Reply to Sigh. Another lonely weekend for my teen

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here: When I say no friends, I mean no friends. No one to play video games with on weekends, no friends to invite to a pizza party (neighborhood kids exclude him). I agree that it is important that I don’t make him feel bad about it. But I know he has tried to reach out to kids to play video games with or meet up with. It’s just hard to understand why he is in this situation given that he is a pretty friendly, nice kid. He dresses well enough, sporty, funny.  There are so many different groups of kids at his school but he hasn’t found anyone.[/quote]

This could have been my dc. Almost exactly how I would describe him except mine was diagnosed adhd at about 5. Very nice and very friendly but lacking social skills. When younger it was ok because he was the silly, goofy one but by ms and HS it really impacted his social opportunities. Not because any less nice or friendly but he did things like talk over everyone constantly, re-tell joke the other friend just told to get the laugh, not good at any activity so hard to be part of a team or game,  and other small things that simply added up.

He did have two neighborhood friends though as he had known them since pre- school and they continued to include him a bit and tolerated him in small doses as very nice boys.  He ended up with one or two “ friends” at school to have lunch with but no real friendships. He also had “ friends” he knew from school who played video games with him but did not socialize with him in real life.

He met girlfriend in college, joined a small, quirky fraternity and will graduate soon. He seems happy to us. He will mention casually that kids were mean to him in HS but at the time he seemed happy enough because we did ask if a change would be good at one point and he said no.

It was really hard to watch and broke my heart at times but, on the other side of it now, he is doing pretty great for who he is. And again, seems happy with his life. He was/is just so different than my dh and I as a child and now as an adult so things I naturally thought would come never did. I’ve learned a lot about myself and the world.

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