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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]“In a sick and twisted way, she probably blames you for your father’s death, as in you as a doctor couldn’t help prevent his death or alleviate his suffering. She probably put her friends up to sending in the notes to you.”

OP here. I think you are correct on both counts. I am in a subtype of oncology and my mother keeps asking what good it is that I am a cancer doctor at a big research institution if my dad died of cancer. And she knew about the notes - she texted me before I even got them that she did NOT agree with notes that were being sent to me by her friends. But my husband commented at the time that she “doth protest too much.”

Ever since I was little, I have always done my own thing and bern very good at tuning out my mom, but the stress has been overwhelming and it just piles up with no sign of letting up. I can’t believe I hung up on my mom, but I am at the end of my rope. Seems like this problem is specific to my family though, and not commonly seen. Which is a good thing for society!

I miss our dog. He just loved me when I was home, and never gave me crap about my schedule.

Thank you all again.[/quote]

OP, I am the mom with the SN kids who took the less work path and my mom is still horrible. It is too painful to go into detail, but she was horribly verbally and emotionally abusive when I started setting boundaries with her for saying such nasty things to me. It took me therapy to understand it's her mental illness and not about me. As someone else on here suggested, I had to learn to demote her and give her less real estate in my head and life. When you are in the thick of it, it is so so hard to realize someone is over the edge awful. I wonder how I endured such terrible behavior for so long. Now I have finally trained her to accept I call less, visit less and email less and she doesn't behave, I do those even less! A book suggested to me here that helped a lot is [u]Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents.[/u][/quote]

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