Reply to Friends who cannot seem to get away

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Reply to "Friends who cannot seem to get away - what gives?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Because way too many women these days are mommy martyrs and no longer have an identity outside of motherhood. It's sad.[/quote]

Why does going out to dinner with a friend have to be part of your identity? Because all the Sex and the City girls are always going out together so every woman has to do that?[/quote]

No -- I think the point the poster was (admittedly, inelegantly) trying to make is that many moms make themselves out to be more frazzled than they really are, like dinner/bedtime is some kind of circus. Unless your toddler/infant is destroying the house, shrieking, and lighting fires in the playroom, what can't be handled by one person for one night while you nourish an adult friendship?

[/quote]

Why can't I "nourish an adult friendship" in a way that's convenient for me and is actually restorative and fun? Brunch, coffee, happy hour - those all sound fun to me. A dinner out because that's what my friend is insisting we do? No, that's not "nourishing" to me. That's a demanding friend who is sapping my energy.[/quote]

The original post wasn't about dinner - it just said "evening," which I assume includes happy hour.[/quote]

OP wants people to skip their kids dinner, bath, and bedtime to hang out with her. I can do happy hour at 5 and be home for bath and bedtime. I don't think that's what OP is talking about.[/quote]

But...why can't you skip dinner once in a blue moon? What is happening at toddler dinnertime that's pivotal? I know plenty of mothers of young kids who eat out with friends every so often.[/quote]

Is this on a work or school night? Maybe they are TIRED. Maybe dinner is far away. Maybe the husband can deal with it all, but he gets home at 6:30, and she'd have to leave at 6 to make the reservation. Dealing with logistics for four people is harder than for one. Doesnt mean it's impossible, but does mean that what is convenient for you might not be for someone else.

And if it's a weekend, not the same issues, but we all only get two weekend days and they fill up fairly far in advance.[/quote]

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