Reply to If you're 35 or over, how many close friends do you have

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t mean this to be mean but I’m really surprised so many people don’t have close friends.  I have at least two from every phase of my life from elementary school through my career.  [/quote]

I think many people define "close" differently, and that impacts how they answer this question.

I have many friends but only a very few that I would consider close enough to talk to if I was going through a rough time. Also, my friendships ebb and flow, so at any given time, I might only have one or two people I feel close to. Doesn't mean I've stopped being friends with my BFF from high school or my closest friend from grad school. It just means that they are not currently who I'd call to discuss something serious because that's just not where we are at right now.

Also, something I've observed in my life is that the nature of your life and specifically, your problems, can impact how close you feel to others. Some problems are easier to discuss with friends and can bring you closer. I have a friend who had a cancer scare a few years ago and it was a time where we all gathered around her and got closer to her. It was a problem that was easy to understand and it felt somewhat straightforward how to help and support her. That's not necessarily true for people who deal with things like abusive relationships or mental health problems, which can actually inhibit your ability to be close to others.

If you have many close friends, it's likely you've never experienced this kind of problem, the kind that pushes you away from others or that others might choose to avoid by avoiding you. You are lucky in your friendships and in other ways too.[/quote]

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