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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The part about his friend and his GF agreeing not to tell him is super weird.

It would be one thing if somehow it just hadn't come out, but discussing it and agreeing to keep it a secret would raise all sorts of red flags for me.

[/quote]

OP here. He told me he wanted to tell me but she begged him not to because she was afraid I would break up with her. He felt guilty once I started talking about marrying her and he didn’t want me to find out years later.

Pissed at my friend too but more upset with her. I’m not mad they slept together, I’m just mad they didn’t tell me they did.[b] I feel like I looked like a fool this whole time.[/b] [/quote]

1) OP it is OK to be upset that she didn't tell you. I agree they should have told you earlier.
2) It's OK to get over it and move on OR break up and move on. But you can't let this linger, or you'll get resentful. You have to let it go, no matter what route you take.
3) The bolded is the problem with men. You are worried about looking like a fool. You know women are worried about getting killed and raped in relationships, right? And you are worried about looking like a fool. Well, newsflash:  Looking like a fool is life. You already look like a fool when you sit on the toilet and take a dump. You look like a fool when you eat ice cream. You look like f fool bending over to put on your sneakers. You look like a fool when you get all excited about the football / soccer /baseball team you follow. It's fnucking life that you look like a fool. But your girlfriend dating something before you? That does NOT make you look like a fool.

Clearly if she and you can't talk openly together about past events you aren't meant for each other. I'd advice some counseling to discuss communication if you decide to stay together, but I'd actualy recommend that you break up.[/quote]

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