Reply to Plans for supporting elderly parents causing relationship issues??

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[quote=Anonymous]So, OP, you provided a lot more context and it doesn't seem as bad as it did. That's good.

It's good you are not getting legally married.

Sounds like you own a house together, split the cost (maybe not 50/50) and split household expenses. You probably have those joint account set up.

As far as costs for your own retirements, your own children, and your own additional savings vehicles, I would advise keeping those separate. This includes investments.

If you want to take a vacation or buy a car or get Botox or shoes or gifts, take turns or throw that $ into your joint household account.

As far as his family help, I suppose that at the end of the day if your finances beyond living expenses are separate, he can do what he wants, and if he has no access to your savings then he's limited to his own money. That's good.

It would be great if you could talk about it: perhaps agree to discuss help to your families exceeding $5K per year or whatever it is, but the whole point of keeping your finances separate is that they are just that...separate, and inaccessible to the other person.

I would probably want to do that if I got divorced and re-coupled, and I would also probably want a yearly sit down for household budgeting, and transparency of networth, credit score, general financial health, etc... just to know. [/quote]

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