Reply to Plans for supporting elderly parents causing relationship issues??

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is a little weird to me. OP says she's not legally getting married. And people are still piling on. Last I checked DCUM was FULL of SAHMs and underemployed women who mooch off of men. I smell a little hypocrisy and sexism. If OP wants to marry a nice guy who cleans and cooks and is fun to hang out with- but doesn't have a huge 401K- how is that different from any woman who doesn't work? And if a woman who spend a lifetime working in the home needs some of their joint funds to support elderly parents, wouldn't that be between the couple? Or would that always be wrong and a SAHM gives up all rights to deciding how family money is spent? [/quote]

It's different because OP can't actually afford what this is going to cost!  I would never advise a woman to SAHM or be underemployed if the guy doesn't earn enough to support their needs, FFS.  This is a purely practical piece of advice.  OP can't afford this guy.[/quote]

I think the point being made is that OP is in the same position as many husbands with wives who don't carry their weight financially but contribute in other ways. THere's literally a whole thread in this forum on how to convince your husband to keep being sole breadwinner so you can SAH.

It OPs situation, he works and earns 4X what she makes. What appears to be at issue is savings and retirement. She needs to decide if what he brings aside from that is worth the sacrifice. Just like any man with a SAH wife would have to decide. It's an individual choice, and lots of people choose to make the financial sacrifice for the quality of life. Usually the people making financial sacrifices are men. [/quote]

You can argue all day that it's a reasonable way for OP to spend her money, but the problem is, she doesn't have the money!  Kind of like a man who could barely support himself agreeing to support a SAHW.  Can't afford it.  The end.[/quote]

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