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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your friends should have texted. I get why your nose is out of joint.

People who claim they can't be bothered to send a text because they're dealing with life issues that every single person on earth faces, such as raising kids, dealing with work, caring for an aging spouse, etc., just don't have (a) good executive functioning skills or (b) a ton of empathy. "I'm so busy!" Oh puhleez. You have the same amount of hours in the day as Mother Teresa, Albert Einstein, and Nelson Mandela. Yet you can't send a text because your neighbor had a hip replacement and work is a little busy? Yeeeeah...no.

OP, send a text to your friends and say, gently, why you're hurt. [/quote]

Lousy advice. Guilt tripping them when you don't know what they are dealing with will just push them away. This person clearly has as little empathy as you suspect your friends have. These are unusual times and many of us faced far more stressors in a shorter period time than people did pre-pandemic. Just because your feelings are hurt does not mean you have to go twisting a knife in the heart of a friend who may have a serious life challenges you know nothing about. I have not told most of my close friends all the things I am dealing with now because it's just too much and I prefer to cope by just being light and pleasant when I engage with friends.

I have learned it's best to assume the best unless you gets tons of evidence otherwise. All you have to do is send a text that says "surgery went well! I wish the recuperation were faster" or whatever. At least it gives a reminder without being self-centered. There is a point where we all lose our ability to even send a text. Sorry when you have a loved one in the hospital and are running on 2 hours of sleep a day for over a week things fall apart. Sometimes it's just an elderly parent ranting at you for the past 8 years during an endless decline into dementia or a child with special needs and chronic illness. It is not anyone's place to shame others and say "sorry, no excuse, you should text ME and check on ME and you are SELFISH not to think of ME." We all have our breaking points and quite a few people are functioning about 2 skips away from it. Cut people some slack and just assume they have too much on their plate.[/quote]

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