Reply to Flaming out at "Dream School"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I know of several (five) students who got into their first-choice school they'd been aiming for for years, only to drop out and come home at the end of the first year. For some, it was academic troubles, for others it was disappointment in the culture/community/vibe. It's almost as if the school couldn't possibly live up to the expectations they had. In each case it was very traumatic experience or the kids and, frankly, the family who had focused for years on that school as the goal and then it didn't work out.

My daughter is still a freshman, but has her eyes on a particular school and is becoming increasingly fixated on it. I do think she can get in. Any advice on how we can we prevent this sort of flame out if she does attend?[/quote]

Prepare academically by taking the most challenging courses she can in HS.   If the maturity level is still lacking after she is accepted to dream school...take a gap year to mature enough to succeed away at college.[/quote]

This is useless advice. It's not about the kid's maturity, it's about tempering expectations they may have for the college itself. [/quote]

I strongly disagree.  I work at a college and a lack of maturity is a very big problem for many freshmen.  I see this from both students who came from public schools and private schools.  They simply aren't ready to be a college due to helicopter parenting.  They are used to parents stepping in and doing most admin type things for them.  When it isn't possible for mom or dad to take care of things for them, they literally ignore want needs to be done and think that mom or dad can strongarm their way through the rules to fix whatever it is that needs fixed.  [/quote]

This is what I think it is too.  Not enough real world independence, problem solving skills, and life skills.  And then the kids are overwhelmed by anxiety.[/quote]

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