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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I had my first just a few days past my 25th bday. I'm now 44 and DC is 19 and a sophomore in college. For the longest time I thought it would be great to be in my early to mid 40s and done with all the day-to-day parenting stuff. That I could travel and focus on my career. But now I see that stuff isn't nearly as fulfilling as parenting can be. I started a career and traveled when my first was young; DC leaving for college didn't change any of that.

Good news is I had my second child at 38 and 3rd at 41. My youngest will be off to college right around the time DH and I intend to retire. Sure, some days are a slog, as I don't have nearly the energy I had when I was younger with DC 1, but I cherish every moment. I love seeing my little ones smiles when I come home, all the hugs and snuggles, they way the smell when they are bed asleep. Life would seems so empty w/ DC off at college and no little ones at home. It goes so fast; it's hard to believe my oldest is now 19. The days when my 19 was as young as my other 2 seems like yesterday. So I am grateful.

If I really had to choose, I might have waited a little longer just so I could appreciate and enjoy my first born a little more; seems like I was always anxious and worried about my career or DC and wanted to rush things- I wanted DC to become more independent so we could move onto the next "new" stage or thing. Now I just want to slow down time and savor my time with my other two DC as long as possible. I guess time offers a little perspective, and some life-lessons. But I don't think you can go wrong either way; it's a personal choice and there is no one encompassing answer. [/quote]

DP and one who finds this perspective very helpful.  I'm someone who traveled independently in my 20s, pre-kids, and am really happy I did it that way.  Once I had my first, life became much less carefree--which is as it should be, I think.  But I don't know that I could enjoy the kind of independent, spontaneous travel that I did as a single, non-parent in my 20s that I would as a parent in my late 40s/early 50s, even if my kids were grown.  I'll still be there mom; I'll still want to be available for them.

I also wouldn't have had nearly the patience in my 20s that I have now.  I probably focus more on social/emotional development than many parents, but I think that's a benefit to my kids, so I'm glad I can do it (i.e., it's a benefit to me of being an older parent).[/quote]

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