Reply to To those of you who have axes to grind re: SAH vs. WOH-this post is for you!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Lots of people post on DCUM about how they don't believe that this conflict exists IRL.  Their evidence to support this position is that they have both WOHM and SAHM friends and everybody gets along and nobody is mean or judgy to one another.  And that is true because you are talking about a group of friends.  Not a group of acquaintances.  Or a group of people who have one thing only in common like your kids go to the same school or play on the same sports team.  It is in that context that the judging comments or outright nastiness spills forth.

I have posted before about SAHMs at our school who ask me at every school day event if I came from work and if I have to go back to work after the event.  When I respond that I do have to go back to work, I am told, "Well at least little Susan got to see her mommy for a WHOLE HOUR today!!"  On of the FT WOHMs I work with was told that working moms were not allowed to room parents at her school by the SAHM room parent coordinator.  On my daughter's sports team, the team mom tells me, "Well I know you work, but we really try hard to have homemade snacks at meets.  It is so much healthier than buying packaged foods."  My friends never say anything of the kind to me.  They call me and tell me they are at Michael's and there are book sox and they are picking me up a few.  They text me and say my kid played her instrument the best at the grandparents day concert I couldn't go to.  And I call them and say drop your kids off here for a few hours and go to the store and get all that crap we need for that stupid project our kids have to do.  Get your nails done while you're at it.  I will feed them lunch and then we will stick them in the basement and we will have some wine.

So yes, you're right, your friends don't say mean things.  Because they are your friends.  It's them that aren't your friends that are waiting to stick a knife in you.[/quote]

I guess it is possible that other mom's at school feel this way, or maybe teachers -- but I swear it has never come up. So if they are silently judging me, what do I care?  At least they are keeping their mouths shut.  
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