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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]
But it's [b]not polite[/b] to tell your party guests what they need to or should not bring. [b]It's never okay[/b]. Etiquette wise [b]it's not even appropriate[/b] to put on the invitation not to bring a gift. If a guest inquires you can say that their presence is the only gift you'd want but otherwise i[b]t's not polite[/b] to give guests instructions.

If OP wants a teaching moment she should have her daughter organize a food drive, fund raising event, donate her own time. Doing a b-day party and asking for food donations really is not teaching her much. She'll feel "good" about giving when she actually didn't do any giving herself.

PP again - I did want to mention that I don't judge OP. I think her heart is in the right place...I just have differing opinions on the subject.[/quote]

Of course you're judging the OP.[/quote]

Um, she asked us to judge her.

This is all so stupid.   If you need a million ways to rationalize a genuine good deed in an improper setting, we see that.  It is quite transparent.  The OP must know at some level this is wrong or she wouldn't be asking the question on a forum, hoping to get some support for her idea so she feels better about it.  She has even asked for help working her invitation (which curiously no one has offered).  The concept is bad etiquette and impolite and just because a bunch of you think it is OK doesn't in fact make it so.  [/quote]

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