Reply to Our daughters boyfriend is now living with us, what are some realistic boundaries to set

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP you are a really good person and may be making a life changing difference to this kid. It sounds like you’ve got some good help and ideas on the legal end. Regarding the family end, I’d talk to the kids each separately about the things you mentioned then have a family meeting and get it all out. Think of saying, hey this is a weird hard situation nobody expects to be in. Let’s make the best of this. He is probably terrified of ending up back with his dad, and worn out from years of the stress of that situation. Let him know he’s got a safe home, and what you expect of everyone in the house to make it work. Fix up a private space for him to sleep and study and hang out so he feels like he’s got an area of his own like your own kids do. 
Then tell everyone because it’s a weird hard situation you’ll be having a family meeting to check in every two weeks (or whatever seems reasonable to you) on how it’s working and what could be improved. 
Best thing you can do for him long term is help him figure out college and a path forward. He’s going to need to find a way to make it on his own sooner than most kids so that he’s not forced to go back to his dad out of desperation.

It’s not that I wouldn’t be concerned about boundaries with sex or an unplanned pregnancy. It’s that this is an emergency and you’ve got a traumatized kid with you and you have to get the emergency stuff sorted out first. [/quote]

I really like the idea of the of the bi weekly check in I'm definitely gonna do that [/quote]

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