Reply to How to handle SIL's concerns/feelings (a topic involving race)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. i agree with you. Tricky part here is that any vacation spot I or my parents all nominate - cruise, resort, mountains, lake, snow, sun - she and my brother feel are too White and therefore uncomfortable. All they are willing to do is go to an urban environment - think Mexico City - which sounds great but is not really possible at this point due to the ages of the kids between us. Perhaps at a later date though. [/quote]

Here's a tip.  Try going somewhere which is more liberal or more diverse in population.  She's saying that she doesn't want to be the token non-white when trying to relax on a vacation.  Having been in that situation, I can understand why some of these situations make her uncomfortable.

So, try suggesting a vacation in Hawaii or visiting someplace in Asia.  Try suggesting places where being Asian is more the norm or at least not just an exception rather than places that are dominantly white.

After a visit to China where I looked much more like the general population and my Caucasian wife stood out as the racial exception, it helped enhance her understanding of how it feels to be the exception rather than the norm.  Fortunately my wife already had a lot of experience of this before we met and married, but she said it helped her understand more some of the things we talk about from a different perspective.  It sounds like OP could use some more of that type of perspective, as well.

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