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[quote=Anonymous]I agree with those who’ve said you are likely to cause a great offense to your ILs if you skip this tradition. You say you really like them and you have a good relationship, so seriously consider of this is worth losing that. Of course there are some who wouldn’t care, and that’s fine. This is your baby (and your husband’s) after all, so you get the final say. But I don’t see how there is any way you can skip this tradition AND have them be happy, so just think through how important both sides of that equation are to you.

My mom passed away, so when I got pregnant I told my DH if it was a girl we were naming it after my mom. I basically gave him no say at all, and I acknowledged that that sucked, but it’s just how it was going to be. He didn’t love the name initially, but kids grow into their names and now he says he can’t imagine her being called anything else. When we had our second, I let him choose the name out of a small list we agreed on.

Only you and your husband can decide what you’re going to do. If I was in your shoes please, I’d probably use Hani and a middle name of my choosing, which we would call him by everywhere. And then I’d get first choice of the next kid’s name.[/quote]

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