Reply to Update to "Minimal amount of secret drinking"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]So now I don't feel comfortable leaving the house anymore with DD in DH's care. And if we split, I have to worry about her safety even more. I feel so terribly guilty that I've given our toddler this life. [b]She is so perfect and I really messed up. [/b][/quote]

Oh, OP, my heart broke for you when I read this. You have NOT messed up. I’m glad you are giving Al-Anon a go, and it sounds like you found a good group.

You can deal with this. I know I’m just an anonymous, random person, but I have so much faith in you.[/quote]

You are giving that child a wonderful mother. [/quote]

I second this.  OP, you have not messed up - you are taking steps proactively to protect your child and yourself.  That is the definition of good mothering.

I will also note that your tone in your updated posts is altogether different from what it was in your first posts.  You are acknowledging the reality of the situation and backing away from your (previous) self-blame and hyper-responsibility and putting your DH's choices squarely on DH.  You are thinking about how best to proceed in view of the facts as they are.

I wish I knew you IRL because I would offer to help however I could.

I think you are doing a wonderful job.  Hang in there and please keep us updated.[/quote]

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