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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Uhhh... I'm having a hard time believing that this really happened. Of course I talk to other parents, male or female. Same with my husband. But we're adults and I trust him not to pick up women at the playground and he extends that same trust to me... lol. [/quote]

OP here. I live in a very….dramatic….community. Mostly people from another culture where jealousy and control are the norm. Once I dated a hot guy (I’m divorced) and my friends’ husbands banned me from bringing him to get-togethers in case their wives, I dunno, hooked up with him in the bathroom.

So I’m not totally surprised, but just wanted a reality check that this isn’t normal. I don’t want to cause trouble for anyone but I also don’t want to be treated like I’m some temptress looking to steal husbands (that I don’t even want, ha). [/quote]

NP here.  I think it’s odd that the daughter was the enforcer.  That said, [b]I tend to err on the side of being conservative[/b] about these things and I won’t just go up to a dad and strike up a full on one on one conversation with just us.  If it’s a larger group of people no issue if they get pulled into the conversation. If it’s a one off, like you see their kid do something cute or conversely if the kid fell, I might might make a quick comment.  But I honestly don’t want to open up the potential for there to be a misunderstanding about flirting or interest with a parent of the opposite gender.  I am also cautious in general about people that I don’t know and my kids don’t know.[/quote]

You are preserving an outdated and very damaging outlook on relations between men and women by doing that. The world is a better place when fathers look after their kids, go on paternity leave, talk to other parents about their children. They cannot do that if they are limited to a small pool of other fathers. It doesn't make the job of engaged father very appealing, does it, if the women shun you just because of your sex? If you don't engage with all parents regardless of sex, all you're doing is perpetuating gender stereotypes. And we all know what that does: continued gender imbalance in the home and in the workplace, and thus continued challenges for your daughters to grow into careers and challenges for your sons to grow into engaged fathers.

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NP, but as a dad who has never cheated and never wants to be tempted to or to give my wife suspicions that I'm doing something dirty, there's an old saying that goes something like if you don't bring that around you, you've got nothing to worry about. I'm not in a position where I'm going to be completely rude or ignore another parent, but casual conversation can become a slippery slope into noticing her nice body to wondering if she was flirting, to her really flirting or whatever. If I need to talk to her about something (say we arrive at a swing at the same time so there's confusion about whose kid gets on), then we'll talk and work out our. But I'm not really interested in any rumors going around the neighborhood about how "friendly" I am. [/quote]

So you can’t have a casual conversation with a woman without worrying about it turning into something else? I mean, that’s nuts. Don’t you ever have to have conversations with women at work?? How on earth do you manage that if a conversation at a playground is fraught with potential peril? [/quote]

I can, but I have to be cautious about similar things. And to this extent also understanding that I'm in a position of power and I don't want anyone thinking they've got to be my friend or talk to me to get ahead.  I can and will have lots of content related stuff. But I'm very aware about when a conversion crosses lines and am asking myself if this is still a conversation I could tell my wife about.

Also work is different because much of work conversations happen through email and over a computer, so we can talk for a month or a few months with me having no idea how a person looks and what their gender is.

When I got married, I made a choice and part of that was to make sure my wife could trust me. I don't want her to trust me because I say to do so, I want her to trust me because my actions warrant trust. My marriage is not with playground moms or the women at work. It's with my wife who I love dearly. And I don't want to mess that up.  Maybe I'm too cautious, but as a guy who made a lot of mistakes in his life, this is one that I'm not going to make.

Maybe when we've been married for 25 years I'll look back on this and say I was too restrictive on myself and have not friends, but I don't have friends in general. And I don't like talking to random people  in general. If I have a parenting question, I'll come here rather than talk at the playground. So I'm not missing much by not talking to most people at a playground. [/quote]

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