Reply to Dating single dad, should I just assume we won't be having sex much?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op, I have a good friend who is a widower with 2 young kids. We talk about his dating limitations fairly openly, as he would really like to find someone to settle down with.

He says he is clear with women that overnight are always going to be at his place. So they have to be ok with that. What that means is that his kids go to bed early (probably around 8), but are also up early (7?) and so there are no lazy mornings in bed. That’s just his reality.

I don’t understand why this guy won’t hire a babysitter to give his kids dinner and do bedtime so you all can go out to dinner or your place to hang out (and maybe have sex). Of course he needs to leave and go home, but DH and I know plenty of babysitters who are happy to work from 6pm- midnight or whatever. If he isn’t open to doing that, I don’t think he’s that into you. I mean, parents are allowed to do regular date nights and have someone else do bedtime for their kids. If he really insists on doing every bedtime, that a flag he’s a total nut case as a parent (I do know parents who don’t want anyone other than family babysitting and they are all total nutcases about their kids).[/quote]

I couldn't disagree with you more,pp. I actually think  OP's boyfriend is getting right by not bring random girls home to sleep with them.  It's also messed up that you call him a nutcase because he wants to be there for his kids to put them to bed, that he considers their needs and not just his penis, that shows maturity, which is more than I can say for your friend.[/quote]

I also think you are being really insensitive calling a windowed with three small children a nut case.  Who knows how he is dealing with losing his spouse? Or maybe one of his kids is still really struggling with the lose of their mother.  Show some grace and empathy for a really difficult situation.  I lost my father suddenly as a kid and it took me a full year to get back to a somewhat normal level.  My sister had years of issues as a result.  [/quote]

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