Reply to Dating single dad, should I just assume we won't be having sex much?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He’s been a widower for 3 years and has a 3 year old plus two other children?  I’m not sure he is ready to be serious with kids this young, the timing and his wants.  Best of luck.  You sound very nice.[/quote]

Have mercy. He had a new baby, 4 yo, and 6 yo while grieving. To answer your question OP, yes you'll need to accept quickies, spontaneity, and his routine above all else. That being said, take advantage of 8-11pm. Make a lovely dinner, dessert, wine and create a a very chill 3 hours. Let it happen organically because this guy needs you to be very flexible and secure. It's the relationship test of all tests. Stay the course if you care about him, and can see the forest for the trees. If not, be very honest that FWB is ok. In fact, this might be what he prefers right now. It may not be a deliberate test, but it's a test of your ability to be nurturing, not needy.

[quote]
Believe me, I totally understand that his kids come first.
A dinner date actually sounds lovely. He's home by 8 for bedtime though, but we could do the same thing earlier. I'm not sure FWB would be okay with me. It isn't that we haven't done anything we've made out etc, just no sex yet. We've seen each other since the 3-month deadline and still no sex, maybe he needs more time. I don't want to seem needy, but I do need to know where his head is on this. Guess I'm going to have to come out of my comfort zone and just ask if sex is something he wants right now and if he does how we're going to work it in.[/quote]

Pp again. The 3 month deadline is throwing me off. I get that you both agreed to wait a bit before sex, but you seem rigid about it. Clock doesn't strike 12 and you have sex. I bet you had moments of kissing etc that could have naturally led to sex. Feels like putting a timer on it is indicative of  being inflexible, especially now that time is up. It would feel that way to me at least.

You have so little time with him to be getting too deep into minutiae about the time and place, if he's ready or not. You know where his head is at right? I rarely push advice, but for you I suggest letting it happen when it happens. Make a lovely brunch at 2 or 3, pop open an icy fillette of champagne to make 2 mimosas, and bake a batch of oatmeal chocolate chip cookies to send home with him for the kids. If he doesn't lift you up and do you in the kitchen, have patience and try again. Maybe breakfast after he drops kids at camp. [/quote]

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