Reply to Just curious about people's take on something

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Just curious about people's take on something"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Who the F knows? She may be unaware, she could be unsure how to broach your loss (I mean it seems pretty uncouth to mention via text, maybe she was waiting for in person), maybe she is self centered.

You do seem a bit much though. You don’t earn chits against the woman just because you organized a meal train. I would assume you did it as a good generous person, and good generous person thinks the best of people’s intentions, which you are not doing.

Also, to be frank as someone who lost both parents.  You lost your elderly dad, which is expected and normal. It sounds like this woman lost her husband way way young (if she has kids who still need rides, unless she married a geriatric?). So her loss is much more debilitating and unexpected, and honesty is probably past of why she is so desperate for a freaking carpool which you seem to want to snub her about. [/quote]

I think this response is HARSH.  I don't agree with engaging in a tit-for-tat, but I totally get OP feeling hurt by the lack of a response.  Okay, maybe it's a different "kind" of loss, but that's not really the issue.  The issue is that efforts were made on OP's part (and other that of other neighbors, as well) to be a supportive community, help with the kids, etc.  The recipient made NO such efforts at the loss of OP's father, which other neighbors are aware of and provided support for.  Maybe OP should give the benefit of the doubt here, because quite honestly, it does sound like this neighbor is a TAKER and probably isn't keeping her finger on the pulse of what's happening with her neighbors.  I think OP is well within her rights to draw the line here and say "nope, can't do a ballet carpool" and quietly feel hurt at the neighbor's lack of response.  And just a reminder here, while the loss of a young spouse would definitely be debilitating, this loss happened FIVE years ago.  I can see the neighbors pitching in occasionally to help out a now single parent with carpool here and there, but this sounds to me like the recipient is taking advantage a bit.[/quote]

Again, OP has no idea if neighbor even knows. It sounds the only announcement was a school email?  GMAFB. I’m sure the widow spends her evenings perusing the school correspondence for these nuggets, nothing better to do as a single mom of young kids.

Again, OP is stuffing a ride to the daughter of a young WIDOW because she for pettiness. [/quote]

Tight-knit neighborhood, social media, etc...word gets out.[/quote]

I really doubt this, grand parents die ALL THE TIME.  I think I have heard of it maybe once?  I mean it seems really weird to be in a school announcement honestly.[/quote]

I'm sorry for your loss, OP. It is very hard to lose a beloved parent.

For this poster, maybe you missed the part where OP said her father lived with them, was well-known in the community, and did pick-ups at school. This grandparent was well-known and obviously a big part of OP's household. I fail to see how grabdparents dying "all the time" negates this loss.

OP, who knows why she hasn't said anything or expressed condolences. Could be any number of reasons. But I agree with the poster that said you are entitled tp decline to do a favor, regardless of whether you're grieving or whether or not someone has hurt your feelings. It's nice to be helpful, but I wouldn't go out of my way now if it isn't convenient.

Wishing strength to you as you grieve your father.[/quote]

Omg, he was AT PICKUP!! He’s almost like the school principal.  Did you see he also WALKED THE DOG. Just because OPs dad happened to be puttering around the community, there is almost zero chance he was “well-known” unless your school is like 20 people.  And even then, a notice in school communication is really weird, unless he worked at the school or was a key volunteer which OP did not allude to. As well as the very obvious likelihood that her neighbor just was not aware of that news.

Now, the key question for me, does Op ever have favors from her neighbor over the years?  Has she ever driven for ballet or soccer or what not? If she has not, THAT is a valid reason to shut down her request. But this ginned up perceived sleight where you are holding court over a young widow with children? Petty. [/quote]

Your sarcasm is uncalled for.  You have no idea how well known OP's father was.  We had a grandparent who did pick up at our school.  A lot of people talked with him.  He was at school functions, as well as neighborhood events.  [i]He was part of the community.[/i]

Op, say no if you don't want to take her.  Unless your neighbor found the thread.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics