Reply to Adult to Adult: Is saying "I'm proud of you" condescending?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not condescending. Sounds like you might be carrying a ton of your own baggage/insecurities.

I’m proud of many of my friends for different things. [/quote]

No baggage, I'm just accustomed to hearing it or saying it from a place of authority. From a peer, it comes across as patronizing. "I'm so happy for you!"  seems good enough to convey the congratulatory message of glee. [/quote]

But the two mean slightly different things.

Being proud of someone is acknowledging that they have made an achievement.  It's is recognition of an accomplishment.  Being happy for someone is pleasure for them.  You can be happy that someone is going on vacation or someone got lucky or had something good happen to them that they had no effect.  Being proud is noticing that they put in some work or effort and achieved a good result from their work/effort.  They mean different things.

And for those who think that there is some sort of class, power or level distinction implied by being proud for someone, the dictionary does not note any such inequities.  Additionaly, for those who think that only the individual can be proud of themselves, the dictionary also recognizes that one can be proud of someone that one is closely associated with.

[quote][b]proud[/b]
/proud/
Learn to pronounce
adjective
1.
feeling deep pleasure or satisfaction as a result of one's own achievements, qualities, or possessions or those of someone with whom one is closely associated.
"a proud grandma of three boys"[/quote]

I regularly use the phrase to acknowledge that someone's work paid off and gave them a good return.  It's a compliment.  Those who think that it is not, need to revise their understanding of the word and phrase.

[/quote]

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