Reply to Adult to Adult: Is saying "I'm proud of you" condescending?

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Reply to "Adult to Adult: Is saying "I'm proud of you" condescending?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I generally think this is normal and fine and have said it myself to friends, siblings, even coworkers I’m close to where I knew how hard they’d worked to achieve something and wanted to express that I knew how much they’d earned it.

BUT

I have had a couple people say it to me where it felt really weird. It’s a really familiar thing to say to someone, and I can think if two people (one a supervisor and the other a colleague) who said this to me with some frequency and I hated it. It felt like they were saying it to position themselves as wiser and further along the path of life than me, and it just made me want to roll my eyes. I remember the supervisor saying she was proud of me when I got married, for instance. I think she felt as someone who has been married for a while, it was her role to bring me along or something. But (1) we were colleagues and not friends and she has zero to do with my personal life, and (2) getting married is a milestone but not really something you earn, I could see a parent being proud in that situation but otherwise it’s a “happy for you” occasion.

So I could imagine other situations where it would be equally weird. Very context dependent and probably not something you should say unless you are confident that the other person will take it as a compliment.[/quote]

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