Reply to Would You Date Someone Who Used To Be Overweight?

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[quote=Anonymous]I can understand it as a bit of a red flag in some ways, sure, and I say this as someone who gained 80lbs after rape and abuse, got therapy and lost the weight. It’s the same sort of way it’s a bit of a red flag that someone has been in AA and sober for 20 yrs — that’s awesome and proactive and amazing, but yeah, it would not be unexpected for that person to suffer a relapse during a future life trauma. My own eating disorder and rape/trauma therapists have said as much to me — that it’s great I am healed and healthy, but they can and do see binge-eating (in my case) reappear during major life events. They also see the maladaptive coping tendencies shift — as in, maybe during an enormous life event a decade from now, I won’t start binging, but I will start drinking. 
Anyway OP, I think the takeaway is to just not bring it up in early dating, and to not frame your current commitment to health and fitness as something you do in response to “before.” We all have our baggage and our secret motivations, better shared with a trusted and established partner than with a semi-stranger. Best of luck! [/quote]

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