Reply to Youngish Spouse- Chronic Illness

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[quote=Anonymous]I  (SAHM) have chronic an auto-immune illness since my late 40s. Its been 8 years for me.  I have actually improved a lot from being bed bound to being fairly active now.  I do all the cleaning in the house as well as the laundry.  However, DH has taken over the cooking and kitchen completely in addition to being the sole provider. Thankfully, I have been able to take care of my kids as well as their schooling. I also lucked out in my worst sick years to have an hourly cleaning lady who helped with many things I needed done.

My own experience has been that if your household is running smoothly  (clean house, laundry done, kids looked after, kids doing well in school, bills paid, paperwork taken care of) - even if it is being done by paying and supervising someone else, the other partner is not overwhelmed and resentment does not build up.

It may be privilege and good luck, but for my DH it was truly "for better or worse" and he really had a lot of compassion for me.  I am sure I would have been really angry if I was in his shoes, but thankfully he is a chilled person and does not get perturbed easily. He also did not think that it was a lifelong ailment. He was very sure that once I became menopausal it would become better. Somehow, it did. [/quote]

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