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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I wouldnt worry too much about this.  If she needed him he had had, what, one beer and one glass of wine?  Plenty of parents regularly drink more than that.  It doesn't seem to me that his drinking is a real issue - but he has some kind of paranoia/phobia of discussing it with you, which may be.[/quote]

awful advice[/quote]

Why?  I agree the communication is the issue, not the amount of alcohol.[/quote]

My God, really? Just NO.

It's that he is SNEAKING it and doing so after he has agreed with his spouse that one a night is the limit - and he can't adhere to the limit that he agreed to. And the fact that he's hugely ashamed and remorseful. This is textbook for problem drinking/alcohol abuse disorder/whatever label you want to put on it.

OP, as someone who is pushing 50 and who is currently battling a longstanding drinking problem (some days more successfully than others) your husband has a problem. And the problem is not really the amount of alcohol he is consuming, which is really not all that much. You summed up the problem almost exactly when you described him pouring a huge glass of wine because he wanted to drink more - and he doesn't even like wine!

I agree that you should go to counseling with him, not because I think something is seriously wrong with your marriage (that was a huge jerk comment BTW) but because he seems to really want to make a change and you seem to be loving and supportive.

I sure wish I had listened to the Dr. that had raised the issue of my drinking when I told her that I drank 3-4 drinks a week, 3-4 times a week (and even that was a lie). I was in a heavy drinking expat culture and we didn't take the issue of alcohol abuse seriously at all. I never thought it would catch up to me but it did. If your husband has a chance to kick this now I'd support him as much as I could.[/quote]

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