Reply to Wife wants to be "alone" so this means we divorce?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP - I am a woman in my 40s who often longs to be alone. Not enough to leave. Honestly it’s not something you can fix in a day or a week or a month. Your wife has decades of losing her identity to the role of mother and wife, being taken for granted and not appreciated. You can fix it, but it’s going to take a sustained, sincere effort from you.

This is one of the stories from this column that has stuck with me over the years.

https://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/02/style/modern-love-those-arent-fighting-words-dear.html[/quote]

I will add. When I first read this, I was younger and newly engaged. I read it from the point of view of the stoic wife with a hope that if this happened to me that I could be as calm and strong. Now 12 years later I read the husband’s role. He had to do the work. He had to reckon with his feelings. His wife didn’t enable him or rush him. It could not have been easy for him to do that. Now I read it as a reminder that I am responsible for myself - not my husband and not my children. [/quote]

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