Reply to Manipulative sister who insists that we come to her DD's party and sacrifice time with grandparents

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Reply to "Manipulative sister who insists that we come to her DD's party and sacrifice time with grandparents"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Go in July.

You say your family is generally drama-free, your sister has always made an effort to come to things for your kids, etc. So it doesn't sound like your sister is normally particularly self-involved or unreasonable. If she was crying over a first birthday party, even as she said she understood, it sounds like she's having a really rough time right now. Go. Be there for her.

It's not "manipulative" of your sister to sincerely be going through a rough patch and need your support. You seem to resent her for asking for that support, and that's terribly unfair of you.

I'm the oldest of 3 girls. Got married first, bought a house first, had kids first, etc. Sometimes you need to make a conscious effort to "show up" for your younger siblings' milestones, even if you've moved past that stage. I get that, now that you've got older kids and everything that goes along with that, a first birthday party that the child won't remember doesn't seem like a big deal. But you probably didn't feel that way when it was your child's first birthday and your sister was there for you then. You need to be there for her now.

And you know what, this has been one hell of a lousy year. The first year as a parent is hard enough without adding a pandemic in. If ever there was a time to celebrate a first birthday, and parents getting through that year, this is it.

Go in July. And don't be resentful.

[/quote]

Agree 💯. I was the last to have kids, after years of going out of my way for my siblings as they celebrated milestones, and it really sucks when no one can rub together two sh*T’s to care for you. And I get it OP, now my kids are older and in hindsight the 1st bday parties we’re no big deal for the kids. But you truly come across as someone who the family has always revolved around, and you do what you want and they cater to it. And you sound like you resent the fact that now your sister has something going on and people (your parents) want to celebrate her. It must have really sucked to finally have your own kid, and then for the whole first year you are stuck isolating in your house and seeing no one. Now, things are opening up and she wants to celebrate the kids first birthday and making it that first year as a parent, and you basically don’t even care if you see her at all when you visit. You are cold. You don’t deserve your sister.[/quote]

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