Reply to Manipulative sister who insists that we come to her DD's party and sacrifice time with grandparents

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[quote=Anonymous]Go in July.

You say your family is generally drama-free, your sister has always made an effort to come to things for your kids, etc. So it doesn't sound like your sister is normally particularly self-involved or unreasonable. If she was crying over a first birthday party, even as she said she understood, it sounds like she's having a really rough time right now. Go. Be there for her.

It's not "manipulative" of your sister to sincerely be going through a rough patch and need your support. You seem to resent her for asking for that support, and that's terribly unfair of you.

I'm the oldest of 3 girls. Got married first, bought a house first, had kids first, etc. Sometimes you need to make a conscious effort to "show up" for your younger siblings' milestones, even if you've moved past that stage. I get that, now that you've got older kids and everything that goes along with that, a first birthday party that the child won't remember doesn't seem like a big deal. But you probably didn't feel that way when it was your child's first birthday and your sister was there for you then. You need to be there for her now.

And you know what, this has been one hell of a lousy year. The first year as a parent is hard enough without adding a pandemic in. If ever there was a time to celebrate a first birthday, and parents getting through that year, this is it.

Go in July. And don't be resentful.

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