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[quote=Anonymous]I do understand this is an awkward situation- she was a teen already when her parents remarried, and each parent is the lower earner in the new marriage (by far, it sounds like). However: family doesn’t stop just because a child goes grows up and goes to college. Are these stepparents going to want DD to treat them as full family members in the years to come? Do they want her to share her life with them? With her step siblings? When DD marries and has children, do they want to be called “grandma and grandpa” or “Grandma and Jim, and Grandpa and Liz”? Will her children be considered cousins to the stepsib’s kids? The marriage is new NOW but will hopefully be lasting. Is this situation as-is going to contribute toward peaceful family relations?

I can’t believe you haven’t already discussed this (college) with your husband, and that her dad has not discussed this with his wife already. This seems extremely odd to me.

Now, I’m not saying that the spouses should just be willing to cough up full college tuition for a stepchild. But surely each couple can come up with a reasonable amount to contribute?

You need to talk to your husband, and you need to talk to her father.

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