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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Look, the situation is what it is. She has 30k she can decide what to do with. The rest is up to her. That’s not going to change unless she gets a scholarship.

Mostly, I want to know what to say to her to get her to stop lashing out at her step siblings and my H. I’ve tried talking to her and get nowhere.[/quote]

She is 17 and plenty old enough to deal with the consequences of her actions. She can say whatever she wants to her step siblings and stepfather, and if she ruins her relationships with them, that's on her. If I were you I would tell her she is an embarrassment and doesn't even deserve the $30k you'd saved for college, and you'd be going to the step siblings and stepfather and apologizing for bringing such a spoiled brat into their family, that you're very ashamed and sorry and definitely do NOT agree with anything she's saying.

She can go have her temper tantrum and if she wants to go to Vassar, she can figure out how to pay all on her own. Maybe you use some of that $30 to take the other people in the family on a nice vacation, or fix up the house or something. [/quote]

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