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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Bring food for the kids! That way, if dinner is late, you can feed them, and of course you're free to bring them home and put them to bed on your schedule. Done. [/quote]

This. Easy and obvious solution. [/quote]

OP is a troublemaker putting this on her SIL when she really ought to be providing food for her own kids. Why would SIL not feed the kids? It's not her responsibility. [/quote]

This is ridiculous. SIL is undermining here. OP is trying to have the uncle over to her house and SIL keeps overstepping. For whatever reason, this keeps being acceptable to DH. So OP should bring food to feed her kids early. But no way are the kids getting good one on one with the uncle in this situation. [/quote]

What's ridiculous is you pinning this all on SIL.

BIL1 is an adult who supposedly can't stand SIL... if he REALLY wanted to have this "good one on one" with his niece & nephew,  he'd make out happen.

He's an adult, he doesn't have to listen to someone he can't stand... what excuse is there now for him not going over there more often?
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Thanks, but he's taking the subway out tomorrow.  He is very non-confrontational and SIL is major confrontational.  Every time we see SIL with her husband, she's yelling at him.  It's so unpleasant.  BIL1 stayed holed up in his bedroom working while he was there to avoid SIL.  BIL2 was on a work trip for part of the time.
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If this guy is a millionaire why on earth would he stay there, especially if his family he wanted to see wasn’t even there??! Why does he even care about the subway if he is coming to visit family?  Why is he not getting a hotel and relaxing there?

Op you make no sense. You are creating crazy drama. And this is their uncle. If they don’t see him they won’t die, and this is your DH’s problem to handle, not yours. Don’t join SIL if you don’t want to see her. Let your husband handle the other parts. Enjoy your evening with your husband and kids. Done. [/quote]

Have you ever read the Millionaire Next Door?  He's super cheap and that's why he's wealthy.  As a professor, he lived in student housing until he turned 50.  A little nutty, but very wonderful.  My kids adore him and cherish every moment with him.  We're looking forward to a great evening tomorrow!

And, by the way, we're millionaires too and super cheap as well.  You may see us drive our very old Toyotas, and think we're poor, but you don't know that we have three paid-off houses in very desirable areas.  It's possible to be wealthy and cheap.

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So why don’t you drive your super economy Toyota over to your BILs house to pick up other BIL so he can visit? It seems very important to you, and I rot ant to his mental health to escape the other house for a while.

And it’s pretty hilarious that you keep talking about being a millionaire like it’s some great thing. It’s pretty much wasted if despite money, you’re going to stew in a very unpleasant and volatile situation that using a bit of that money could easily extract you from. [/quote]

Yup. I am the PP who asked about why the uncle was staying there above. I happen to also be a millionaire frugal professor who drives a 13 year old car and was happy living in simple spaces. But money is not to hoard under my mattress - if I was miserable I would absolutely leave.

And speaking of - why aren’t you finding a way to host your BIL?  If student housing is fine for him then presumably your kid’s trundle or living room floor plus mattress would also be fine.

But you aren’t on here because you want our advice. You are on here because you want us to say how evil and difficult SIL is. She might be that. But based on your posts you are extremely difficult yourself and unreasonable - SIL is hosting and might also (gasp!) want to see this BIL while he is in town. Are you sharing?  And you all are crazy.  If you have enough money and not enough time that this visit is precious and special, then refusing to use a tiny tiny bit of your ample funds to fix this is just dumb and not worthy of DCUM posters’ time and energy. Good riddance.  [/quote]

Thanks, but SIL did host one night.  He's taking the subway out here and we're driving him home.

Yes, I was venting more than looking for advice.  I can't stand my SIL with her rumors, lies, and butting into our plans.  SIL has five siblings and none of them or their spouses can stand her either.  She drives her kids crazy.  BIL2 just tunes her out while there.

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