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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DD’s best friend has an au pair. The mom in the family is a good friend of mine.

I made some missteps / did some things that annoyed the au pair. The au pair suggested we chat in person rather than via text and I think that’s a great idea.

The problem is I think maybe one of the things that upset her was when I asked for a favor and she didn’t respond I wrote a few days later and asked if she got my text. I then wrote a few days later and said “can you let me know if you see this? I’m trying to figure out our plans one way or another”. I gather the au pair was upset that I had pressured her to watch my DD that day (and my DH thinks I should have understood the lack of response to be a “no”). For me, if she’d just said “that won’t work” to begin with I would have figured something else out. Anyway, I made other missteps too so I see how they piled up. I don’t think any are terrible (similar to example I provided) but I understand why she’s grumpy with me.

The thing is, she proposed a time I had a meeting. I proposed a number of other times and she’s gone silent again. Most of the times I proposed would require me to move a meeting / have some heads-up. The one she said “maybe, we’ll see” is for today. So for now we’re just avoiding texting her, arranging play dates etc and that’s not really tenable. I really would like to see if we can clear the air at all. My husband thinks she tends to forget or not realize I have a job. She seems to not want to meet during free-time (understandable) or when she’s watching the kids, so I’m not sure what to do. Do I arrange for my husband to watch the kids so we can meet?[/quote]

Why would she have to meet with you? You're not her employer.  She doesn't have to communicate with you or arrange play dates. That's not her job.[/quote]

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