Reply to How to talk to your child after they did horribly in a swim meet

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sorry, I didn't read the whole thread - were there some circumstances that made the first meet different from the second? Like a different team with better swimmers?

If not, I actually think it's right for her to be a little worried. I don't think it's about achievement. I think when a kid was behaving or performing one way but then suddently changes, it's something to look into. Not because they need to a be a top swimmer, but maybe because something really is wrong with them.

I was on the swim team when I was in junior high. I went from being really dedicated to being distracted and not performing well. This happened right at the time we found out my mom was having an affair and my parents separated.

I actually had a few other instances like this when I was a child and I kind of resent it to this day that my parents "stayed out my business." I wish they would've asked me more questions about what was going on with me.

Maybe something legitimate happened to OP's child - problem at school? problem with friends?[/quote]

If this is what’s going on there will be behavior change in other situations, not just in swim races. And it can be addressed then. A 7 year old does not have good emotion regulation. If something is bothering them they act out in multiple situations. Not the same thing as being a middle schooler.

It is obvious people thinking this is indicative of anything deeper do not come from a swimming background. Some days you are just off and can’t really figure out why. A 7 year old is unlikely to be aware of changes in performance. If they are aware and express disappointment, a good parent tells them there will be good days and bad days and that the important thing is to keep trying and cheering for teammates. A huge part of sports is learning to work through tough times with grace and being happy for others who are doing well. That is the type of thing that will carry over into adult life. Not the times. [/quote]

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